ASSUMPTIONS - The art of judging people....

There are few things that we are taught at school, college, work or at life in general. But this is something everyone seems to be a master at irrespective of age, qualification or even experience. I sometimes wonder, if we were to adhere to all those stories about morals and values taught at school would we end up being a perfect human being, or since there is nothing or no one as perfect; at least near to perfect? I guess that is definitely debatable. One such thing which we were taught at school and were assuming that we never knew what it actually meant is to 'never judge a book by its cover...' Apparently even before we realize it, we are into it - judging. And everyone seems to be an expert at it. 

So, when I was first taught this, all I did was go through all kinds of books to check with their covers for sizzling titles matching the image and the tag lines. Though I am not an avid reader, I have the habit of judging a book by its cover which fails to leave me alone. Apparently, this art of judging has not limited itself to books alone, instead has spread across to people, situations and solutions too. So much so that the essence of 'judging a book by its cover...' is lost during transition. It was at a time one of my favorite pass time. Any day, it was always easier to assume that the girl next door is silently having an affair with the guy across the street corner. On a pool drive in the cab, it was easy to assume that if your co passenger of the other gender takes up a seat next to you despite the shotgun being available, then he / she is either mannerless or desperate. It was easier to assume that since they spend most of the time sticking next to each other, there is some or the other scene going on between them. It was easier to assume that being a single / divorced / widowed working woman can bring its own perks and advantages. 

And all this while it was evident that whatever was being assumed was totally true, not because there cannot be a better version of it but merely because it was being done by someone who has been an expert at it with a record of very few instances going different than as assumed. To think of it, let us assume for a minute that all of these assumptions have been right, what is it that has or could have been done about it. NOTHING. Nothing worth the effort put in assuming it at the first place. Nothing that can improve the productivity factor at work or even your personal life as a matter of fact. But, what if all that we have been assuming all this while is just a pop up of your own mundane life? What if this is just an outcome of your own whimsical way to life? What if it is not a mere assumption but a nightmare for someone?

It does not always have to be about people assuming someone is free and available just because of her type of clothing, or about people thinking someone is desperate just because she is there at the wrong place at the wrong time of the day, or about people concluding that if she is a working professional there might have been sleep overs to the top. Such assumptions can be harmful at times. But is there a category of harmless assumptions?Something about things like a child who has not been eating right. We tend to assume he / she is being naughty. A child who has not been listening to his / her parent. We tend to assume that the child is acting too smart for his / her age. Turns out to be true in most of the cases, after all Moms know the best, don't they? But what in those cases where the assumption does not hold true? Rule it out as collateral damage. It's sad that we are never trained to leave our assumptions behind.

So I was just thinking if all those who are experts at judging others, give it a thought before jumping to conclusions based on baseless assumptions about someone, this world might definitely turn up to be a better place to be. It is not going to be easy - to stop every time we begin to assume and ask what the matter is, to let go of the assumption and accept the fact, to embrace life with conviction and not with assumptions. At the end you will be left either with a baggage filled of assumptions or a bundle of life. 

"MOST OF OUR ASSUMPTIONS HAVE OUTLIVED THEIR USELESSNESS."

        

                                                                                                             Marshall McLuhan

Dedicated to MAO....